At least I don't have fish AIDS
via friend whobothers
Sorry for the quiet lately. It’s been a bit of a whirlwind since spring has truly arrived. Saw a friend off to France, finished up some work, caught up with some other friends I hadn’t seen in a while, attended a Grey Gardens-themed clothing swap, and modeled some hats.
At present I am recovering from some nasty withdrawal from Zoloft.
I was put on a very low dose for various reasons when I was 19, and I have been on it ever since (I’m now 27). Zoloft is one of those anti-depressants that supposedly doesn’t do anything unless you really need it, since it works with existing brain chemistry, specifically serotonin re-uptake. I have never been re-evaluated by a psychiatrist or psychologist for whether it’s necessary still, nor for general therapy purposes. I’ve basically stayed on it out of habit and the what-if factor.
So, since I have a been in a “good place” for a while now, I decided to go off it. I followed the recommended tapering-off procedure, which has you drop your dose by 25mg for a specific interval until you’re down to 0. Since I was only on 50mg (I’ve known people on four times that), this ended fairly quickly. I felt fine. This was expected, as Zoloft is supposed to have a 50% half life.
Then, about a week later, I got hit by a truly absurd array of withdrawal symptoms. Flu symptoms, dizziness, extreme nausea, fatigue, diarrhea, insanely vivid and realistic dreams. Of course, this was the same week that swine flu was all over the news. OH NOES TEH SWINE. Several days later I am much better, but I’m still in a fatigue/nausea/lack of appetite cycle that I can only seem to cut through with cold drinks, produce, and very very small amounts of peanut butter and other protein.
For an anti-depressant that is supposed to be on the less-mess-with-your-body end of the spectrum, and which is available extremely cheaply as a generic, and for which I was prescribed such a small dose, the after effects are pretty absurd. Part of me is very angry at my then-doctor, and the university psychologist, for putting me on this thing in the first place. Yes, there was a time and a place. I had a hard time adjusting to college, socially and emotionally, and it was probably good to be on some sort of stabilizer then. But, they both told me that I might have to be on it for the rest of my life, and I believed them because, well, they were doctors.
And no, I am not a medical professional. And yes, maybe I should have tapered even longer. But from what I’ve read online (and yes, I hate reading medical advice and symptoms online as much as anyone) people that have quit cold turkey and people who taper off the drug can have the exact same experiences, i.e., the symptoms I had and more (I’m glad I missed out on the “electric shocks” symptom. Jesus). And I don’t want to be one of those DON’T DO ANTI-DEPRESSANTS crusaders. I can only speak for myself. I honestly thought briefly about going back on (I have almost a month’s supply left, and another refill) to make the symptoms stop, but decided that wouldn’t do any better for me in the long run.
So, on a Sunday afternoon, after sleeping for about 12 hours, I am drinking iced coffee with soy milk and sipping a smoothie crammed full with antioxidants, trying to get my body as flushed out as possible. I am doing laundry, and some crocheting, and some work-related things, and I’m feeling pretty good. So there’s that.