I kid, I kid.

Well, a bit.

Baconbots

Thanks to a riveting exchange with @shanakimball, I have finally gotten the autotwitterbot attention I deserve.

Empire Beauty School Punks

My mom works part-time at a fabric shop downtown in a tiny college town. Apparently there has been a rash of broken windows and other general low-brow punk behavior as unemployment and the number of kids with nothing to do have gone up.

One night this week she was leaving the shop and walking through the parking lot to her car when she saw two kids with skateboards milling about in the lot. There’s a skate park nearby and skating in the (poorly lit) parking lots behind Main Street has been outlawed, so she wondered if they were up to no good. One of the kids spoke. She froze.

“Don’t you think that lady has nice hair?” one kid asked the other.

The other kid, clearly mortified, did not answer.

My mom, trying very hard not to laugh, got in her car and drove home.

Oh, the meta-funny

Google has launched Google Paper today.* One user testimonial just sums up so much info arch that I had to point it out:

“Now that I have Gmail Paper, I understand the difference between labels and folders. I had one message with two labels, but when I tried to stick the paper version into two filing cabinets at the same time, it just wouldn’t go.”

*You do remember what today is, right? Okay.

This is terrible.

Someone threw out a perfectly good transmogrifier.

Original pre-move comment from deb:
I do so miss Calvin and Hobbes.

You should rescue it!

Dear Mother with Her Adolescent Son and His Friend at Meijer

I realize that it’s President’s Weekend and your twelve-year-old son and his friend have off from school, but do you really think it’s wise to take them to Meijer at 9:30 on a Sunday night and buy them crappy ice cream and Red Bull? I mean, really?

Sincerely,

Someone Who Sighs a Lot When She Sees Things Like This

Original pre-move comment from deb:
At least you don’t have to go home with them. And, I thought red koolaid kicked it. Man, if I were a kid I’d be red bulled up with pixie stix on the brain.

Violent Acres

I’ve added a new link in the sidebar: Violent Acres, a blog I found through an article on The Consumerist from a link on Digg.

From an article about running into women from high school you can’t remember and the inability to gossip:

I don’t blame people in the least for reading my writing and dubbing me a man. If I lacked access to my own boobs and vagina, it’s likely that I’d question myself.

I love her.